regret


I found love where it wasn’t
supposed to be…
right in front of me.

-I Found, Amber Run


you were a fragile soul,
building lesson plans,
sketching doubts dark
against the morning mist,
hammock swinging
on a mosquito-swarmed
porch watching
snowy, sunshine, & lime
colored birds swoop around
the mountains;
lost in your anxious toil,
vacant hopes laying
bricks so solid that
a child’s laughter
sounded faint through
the cracks.

you only listened for
your own heartbeat;
dug a trench against
the unknown, felt
the stench and ache
of never being enough
mark a bitter tally into
the wall with every day
you stayed;
fumbled through
begrudging presence &
stared sullenly longing
for a distant land and
brighter life when the
heartbreak of disappointment
echoed through your bones
with every new morning.

but now you would do
anything to listen to the
voices bubble through the
classroom doors,
smell the clear mountain
farmland wake from its slumber,
run across a field panting
from exhausted, spent life;
hear the rain
shatter like a million shards of
glass against
a metal, currogated roof –
deafening,
drowning out everything
but presence,
driving away thought,
memory, fear –
kindling awe and mystery in the
cold stone hearth of a wandering soul.

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